Friday, January 25, 2008

Thursday- A day of OVERLOAD for me. :( continued

So everyone in the class loads up on the bus and I'll be honest. I'm super nervous and really was becoming uptight about it. I said a small Prayer, We get there and unload, then we all had to harness up our dogs and some want one way and others went the opposite direction. I was super tight, s my arm was loos but my back felt super tight from being tense. I took a deep breath and continued on.

We for the most part had a super smooth walk, where I had a couple of trips from not picking up my feet, but she did awesome bringing me back to the middle of the sidewalk, and completely around things. She continues to amaze me over and over with her eagerness to learn and to get from point A to B. But I was in tears from fear most of the the walk, and then by the time I completed my walk. I think by this point, I'd hit my breaking point of a sleeping schedule gone awry, deeply missing my kids and Mike, the stresses of the traffic checks and bouncing back and forth trying to be in the right place, talking on the phone with my puppy walker, as well as knowing I was flying out tomorrow.

So we make our round and Mike S had encouraged me when he passed me on the walk, he came on the bus to see if I was OK after, and I said well I'm here. I just couldn't stop the tears as my face was buried in Honey's fur and stroking her soft chest telling her good dog for such and awesome, awesome job. I finally was able to stifle most of the tears, but by golly the head ache and sore eyes were still raging. Everyone finished up their walks and we headed back to the foundation and still, I was having a hard time keeping from gushing. We got back and went out and breaked the dogs and then came back to the room. I had such a headache and was so worked up that I was feeling sick at my stomach. I talked with mike for a few on IM and then I laid down for a bit, falling asleep for about an hour. I then woke up and got up and packed up most of my suitcase and stuff to be ready to go. and then have tried to type up this post, but as I"m sitting here typing, I keep falling asleep and dozing off . Then I'll wake up, and I think I'm finally going to make it to finishing it at 2am! LOL!

So I'm putting down the laptop and going to crawl under the covers and put on my alarm clock and then wait for it to go off at 6am.

Night all!

9 comments:

Mike said...

Told you you'd fall asleep if you laid down... ;)

Wendy said...

Oh Kacie--I had tears flowing just reading the second part of Thursday. I hope the flight home today is quick and good so you can see your kids and Mike. You have done awesome this week and only have a few more hours.

Pam from DB fishbowl said...

OH, Kacie hugs to you!!
You're probably home now reading this. I was waiting for you to have a "breakdown" of sorts.

It kind of snuck up on you didn't it? It's part of your journey...realizing that this dog is now part of you...and that you are letting her do her job for you. I was waiting for the nighttime walks...as it hits you in the gut just how real this is and that I need this dog..I can't do this alone anymore...Honey has been waiting for you to truly need her, that isn't something you do "intellectually"...it's in your psyche...I say that you were the one that "turned over".

It seemed like you had to fit alot in the last day or so...I can seen now why the program is 28 days. There is a emotional process too, not just learning the nuts and bolts. They picked a special dog for you, that really learns fast and wants to help you...she deserves a nice soft blanket to sleep on when she gets home!!!

Wish I could give ou a hug...but I think you got all the hugs that matter today..from your hubby and kids...now they will join in the journey with you!!

Safe Travels..from New York and beyond!
Pam

Tamara said...

I think Pam said it all. This has been an amazing week to read about from where I am. I know you are dealing with the nuts and bolts but it sounds like you are also starting to process what a change and relief and blessing and turning over this will be for you. (((hugs))) hope your journey home is safe. Have a fabulous weekend! xoxo

Erin & Midnight said...

Hugs from me and kisses and labby wiggles from Midnight!

Cookie's Mommy said...

hugs Babe, Pam said it best, it's an emotional journey. You are home now, time for the next phase...

Deirdre said...

Kacie, I hope you had a safe flight home and managed to get some rest. I know I've said it before, but you are such an amazing person. HUGS!!!

Stacie said...

I am sure it is scary to put your trust into a dog, but it seems that Honey is DOING GREAT. I hope you both continue to have great success so that you can be more and more comfortable with her!

Welcome home Honey and Kacie!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kacie, I am new in this group. I have Usher 2. Wow I have learned a lot reading your journey, Honey's too. So glad we have BLOGS now days to share and learn from others. Like everyone said, you are amazing and know you will be glad to be home in your own bed. Hope Honey's adjustment goes well. Molly CC from Florida